Am I ready?

I did not update my blog for quite some time already. Maybe I was not so emotional these few weeks. I realized that I would write more when I was unhappy and when I was emotional. Lately I was so addicted to Facebook games and did not have mood to write. I knew that there were many things I had not done such as participating in contests, uploading photos, surveying about properties and blogging about the Gatsby Street Fair, Hong Kong trip as well as Cameron Highlands trip. I was also busy looking for room to move. Luckily, I found a room near Taman Megah, Kelana Jaya. It was only RM350 for the rental, which could be shared by 2 persons but it was excluded the utility fees. The house was fully furnished with washing machine, stove, fridge, air-conditioner, water heater, television, sofa, car park and broadband. Although utility fees were not included, it was considered quite cheap for a room with so many facilities in Petaling Jaya area. Then, I also just found a new tenant to replace me in my current house. The reason I moved out from current room was because the main tenant did not kept his promise to fix the toilet, which was spoiled since I moved in. It was about a year ago. Then, the water heater was spoiled also recently. The air-conditioner was not cold also. Yet, I had to pay high rental and utility fees for that room. I was about to call One FM to shout "Beh Tahan! (cannot take it anymore!)".

A couple of weeks ago, I wrote "I am single and available again. I think I was open to love again" as my Facebook status. I was wondering whether I was really ready to be in love again. After a few months of struggles, my emotion was getting more stable. Yet, I became emotional after I had a conversation with my superior a week before I had my yearly salary adjustment and a week before I went to the Hong Kong trip. He said I was not performing well. We discussed about a lot of things in this two hours conversation. I asked him to be frank to me. Some of the things he told me were really hurt me but I knew that the truth is always cruel. I agreed with him to a certain degree. Thus, I promised to put more effort in the tasks assigned to me. I did not really enjoy myself in this Hong Kong trip as I was thinking about this matter and I was travelling with my friend and his girlfriend. After I came back from Hong Kong trip, I lost appetite and I started to isolate myself from others just like what I did previously during my early secondary school time. I "locked" myself to my own world. I guessed maybe this was my way to avoid being hurt in love and to minimize trouble in my career. There was a saying "Work More Talk Less". I could also start to save money as I was using only around RM2-3 per day for my meals, RM3 for parking and RM4.80 for LRT from Kelana Jaya to KLCC. Maybe I could buy a pet and talk to it. A pet would not harm me also ;)

Human is complicated...