A Story from Stupid Egg

Stupid Egg went for a drink with his friends.

On the way back home, he saw a road block in the middle of the road.

(He thought, "OMG! So unlucky!")

Stupid Egg tried to pretend that he did not drink and he was not from any clubs by moving slowly across the road block without winding down the window.

The policeman signaled him to stop.

Stupid Egg winded down the window and he guessed the policeman could identify that he was drinking from his red face and his breath.

The policeman asked for his driving license and asked him to drive his car to the roadside.

Then, the policeman asked Stupid Egg to blow the alcohol-test-meter.

The policeman said his alcohol level had exceeded the normal limit by so much.

The policeman explained to Stupid Egg that he had offended the traffic law.

Stupid Egg might be fined between 1,000 MYR to 6,000 MYR and might be jailed for not more than 12 months for this offense.

The policeman asked him, "Are you clear about what I have explained?"

Stupid Egg was "blank" and he remembered that he did not give the policeman a response.

Stupid Egg had mixture feelings of confused, fear and panicked at that moment.

The policeman was writing his particulars into a form.

Suddenly, Stupid Egg thought of calling his female friend's friend as he had the phone number from his call history list.

He heard it was the weird-looking guy answered the phone.

The weird-looking guy said, "Hello, you reach home?"

Stupid Egg said, "NO NO. I am arrested by police."

The weird-looking guy said, "It's okay. You just give him a note of 50 MYR. I have gone out for drinking for so many times. Sometimes, we were caught but we managed to settle through this way."

Stupid Egg said, "NO NO. There are a lot of them here and he is not going to release me."

The weird-looking guy said, "Sorry. We have just reached home. You try to call your friends who are near to that area."

Stupid Egg said, "But...I don't have many friends around..."

(Phone hanged up. Tut tut tut...)

The policeman said, "Now I have to send you to the police station. You will be jailed for today. You will be released earliest by 9.00 am but only if someone is coming to pay for the bail. Your car will be kept in the police station until you have paid for the fine at the court latest on Monday."

Stupid Egg seemed to be calm.

Stupid Egg did not say anything to respond to that.

The policeman asked for Stupid Egg's key and said that he would drive Stupid Egg to the police station.

Stupid Egg could not control his body and he still climbed onto the driver's seat.

The policeman said, "No no. Let me have the key and I will be driving."

Stupid Egg went to the passenger's seat and fastened his seat-belt.

Stupid Egg was stunned for a while.

Then, Stupid Egg said, "Sir, I just drank at most half a glass. Why did the meter show that my alcohol level was so high?"

The policeman said, "How can that be? You must have drunk more than that. It's almost a jug of beer with that level of alcohol."

Stupid Egg repeated the same sentence again.

Stupid Egg said, "Sir, I just drank at most half a glass of liquor and I mixed with a lot of Coca-cola mixer and ice."

The policeman said, "It can't be. Oh, did you say liquor? What kind of liquor? Black Label?"

Stupid Egg said, "No. It's Gold Label."

The policeman said, "Gold Label is 55% of alcohol."

Stupid Egg said, "But Sir, I just drank at most half a glass."

The policeman said, "Then, I suppose you have just drunk it before you're caught. Liquor will keep spreading in the body and the alcohol level will be increasing. It's not like beer. Alcohol level of beer will be decreasing after some time. Let go back to the police station and test again."

On the way to the police station...Stupid Egg was calm and "blank".

When Stupid Egg entered the office, he saw a few youngsters were sitting on a bench and chairs.

Two of them were handcuffed.

They seemed to be caught for the same offense.

Stupid Egg's face was still a little hot.

Stupid Egg saw someone was doing the test in a room.

Stupid Egg heard one of the youngsters was talking on the phone, "I do not drink so much also. Just three glasses." (Most probably calling his parents.)

Another youngster said, "I thought maximum fine is RM300 only just like speeding and red light offenses."

Another youngster said, "I think I want to drink more water from water dispenser as I have to pay so much for the fine. Just pay them 1,000 MYR."

The last youngster said, "Yes. 1,000 MYR will be almost my one month salary."

Stupid Egg was thinking of going to the washroom to release some water so that the level of alcohol might be lowered.

Stupid Egg asked the policemen that caught him, "Sir, can I go to the washroom, please?"

The policeman said, "Wait."

Then, the policeman escorted Stupid Egg to the washroom outside of the office building.

Stupid Egg tried to release as much water as he could.

Then, Stupid Egg washed his face to "cool down".

Stupid Egg even drank some pipe water in thinking that might help him to reduce the level of alcohol in his body.

Stupid Egg was escorted back to the office.

It was a little cold as Stupid Egg was sitting in front of the air conditioner.

Yet, Stupid Egg felt his face was not so hot and the level of alcohol should have been lowered.

Stupid Egg was escorted back to the office.

It was a little cold as Stupid Egg was sitting in front of the air conditioner.

Yet, Stupid Egg felt his face was not so hot and the level of alcohol should have been lowered.

The policeman inside was calling, “Stupid Egg once... Stupid Egg twice... Stupid Egg thrice... Stupid Egg 4th time... Stupid Egg 5th time... Stupid Egg 6th time... Stupid Egg 7th time..."

Stupid Egg only heard it after the 7th time.

The policeman asked Stupid Egg to sit down in front of him.

The policeman was typing his particulars with a device similar to a typewriter.

Then, the policeman took out a whistle like thing and explained to Stupid Egg on where and how to blow the whistle.

The "whistle" was placed onto a tube of the typewriter.

Stupid Egg was asked to blow.

Stupid Egg tried to be sneaky by blowing it lightly.

The policeman scolded Stupid Egg, "What are you doing? I have shown you the way to blow. (He blew my right hand until got saliva.) Do you need to go to the hospital because you have no energy in blowing?!"

Stupid Egg said, "Sorry. I see. I have to blow harder so that the progress bar appears on the machine."

The policeman said, "Sorry. I am smoking. If I don't smoke, I will feel angry."

The policeman pressed a button and a receipt came out.

The policeman told Stupid Egg that his level of alcohol was high.

The policeman asked Stupid Egg, "What do you think? I can show you the logbook of previous cases. There are a lot of cases with fine more than 1,000 MYR. How do you want to settle it?"

The policeman asked in softer tone, "Do you want to settle it at the court or here?"

The policeman showed Stupid Egg some receipts with amount of 2,000 MYR and 3,000 MYR.

Stupid Egg said, "I see. That's a lot and it's expensive. Erm, how to settle it... here..."

The policeman whispered, "300 MYR. I do not want or need a lot."

Stupid Egg said, "Okay. But I do not bring a lot with me. I need to go to the ATM to withdraw."

The policeman asked a lower ranked policeman to drive Stupid Egg out to the nearest ATM.

Stupid Egg just realized that his Maybank account only left 199 MYR.

Stupid Egg could not withdraw his CIMB savings by using his Maybank card also.

Stupid Egg told the policeman, who was driving Stupid Egg out, but he did not seem to be understood of what Stupid Egg had explained.

They went to Maybank but the door was still closed. It's almost 5.00 am.

They went to Public Bank.

Stupid Egg tried to withdraw 190 MYR but the machine did not allow.

Stupid Egg withdrew 150 MYR only.

Then, Stupid Egg quickly thought of his ex-colleague, Ah Dar and Stupid Egg called Ah Dar in the middle of the night to ask for Ah Dar’s help to transfer 150 MYR into his Maybank account first.

Stupid Egg sent Ah Dar his account number and his full name.

After a while, Stupid Egg called Ah Dar again but Ah Dar said it's unsuccessful because Ah Dar’s mobile phone did not have such function to do online money transfer.

Ah Dar said he would operate his laptop if it was still not working.

The policeman was impatient already.

The policeman said it would be 6.00 am soon.

Stupid Egg tried to talk to the policeman and ask about the policeman’s job and family to delay for some time.

The policeman said his shift is 6.00 am today until 6.00 am the next day.

It's 24 hours work and the policeman got to rest on the next day.

The policeman said he would work a day and off a day.

The policeman only has to work for 15 days in a month.

Stupid Egg called his colleague again.

Stupid Egg felt relief as Ah Dar said it was successfully and Stupid Egg could withdraw the money now.

Stupid Egg walked to the ATM and withdrew another 150 MYR.

The policeman drove Stupid Egg back to the front of the police station.

Stupid Egg asked the policeman, "Pay here?"

The policeman said, "Yes. I don't wish to see you again next time. Thanks."

Stupid Egg said, "Yes. Of course! If I want to have a drink next time, I would ask my friend to fetch me. Thanks."

Stupid Egg drove back.

On the way, Stupid Egg was thinking that he might need to stop by roadside and rest for a while to avoid being caught by another policeman again.

Stupid Egg was almost reached his house but he stopped by roadside.

Stupid Egg noticed that there were miss calls from his female friend a while ago.

Stupid Egg sent her a message to ask for her account number and the amount that he had to pay for the liquor and entrance fee. Thus, Stupid Egg could pay back her and them.

She called Stupid Egg.

She seemed to be crying at that moment and kept asking Stupid Egg what had happened.

Stupid Egg told her everything.

Then, she asked Stupid Egg to SMS her when Stupid Egg really reached home.

Stupid Egg SMS her as soon as he reached home and told her to ask him tomorrow in case she had more questions to ask.

Stupid Egg also asked her to sleep early.